Post by Fatlouie on Oct 24, 2008 12:03:33 GMT -4
Hello there.
I'm new here, my name's Fatlouie...and even though actually, I'm not the biggest fans of poems, I've been so frustrated lately, needing to vent, and I started writing this, hessitant at first and then it all sort of came out. So, I'm sorry if it's not a true poem, it doesn't fit a format and I'd be willing to bet it has heaps and heaps of grammar mistakes...I just needed to say this. It's been inside ME too long.
'I'm Sorry'
from Fatlouie
I look into the mirror
See those treacherous eyes
Staring back at me
Too innocent-looking
For what they’ve done
I look away
Not bearing the sight
But not able to forget, either
Never able to forget
You
You
Too nice and kind
For such a monster
Too interesting
For someone so boring
For ME
For someone too intent on the impossible
Too caught up in her own dreams
To notice what she had
To see what she could’ve had
If she’d let time get the better of
Her and him
You
Saw the girl
Behind the plain hair
And average clothes
Saw the soul behind
Noticed her in a way no one else had
And she saw you too
But not in the right way
She thought of him a friend
Nothing more
A way to prove she wasn’t
As shy as they all thought she was
So it didn’t matter if he wasn’t
Pretty
Or cool
Of course she didn’t miss the hints
Or ignore the whispering
The smirks, smiles and teasing
But talking with him
Was nice
And the way he looked at her
She felt wanted
Special
And, she had something to talk about
With her friends
So she let it pass
And maybe
Maybe she didn’t mind the whispering
Because they were whispering about HER for a change
And HIM too, of course
But one day he crossed the line
Or maybe one of his friends tricked him
Later she wasn’t sure who
He told her she was more than just his friend
And she
She freaked out
Too scared
And angry
What would her friends say about him?
Say about him and her
Together?
He didn’t fit in.
Didn’t fit into her want to-be perfect world.
So she told him
He was only her friend
Maybe not even that
That she couldn’t care less
Of course he said it was fine
Okay
No problem
But he never looked at her in THAT way again
Never spoke to her again unless necessary
Avoiding her
And time passed
as time does
She changed
But so did HE
Maybe he wasn’t so
Ugly
Or uncool
Anymore
And she wasn’t the only one
Who noticed
Suddenly other girls
Started to notice HIM
Notice the way his full lips were curved
His long eyelashes
His piano-player fingers
But he was forbidden
Of course
After all
She’d told him no
I don’t want to be with YOU
She’d rejected him
Told him to leave her alone
And become prettier
And cooler
And now he was
Prettier
And cooler
And she started seeing past the thin boy
With the messy hair
And weird accent
And weird habits
She started noticing HIM the right way
But she doubted herself
Not sure
Who was she seeing?
The kind, sympathetic guy she’d failed to notice before?
Or the pretty, cool guy he’d turned into?
But of course
HE no longer looked at her in THAT way
Didn’t look at her anymore
At all
Past times
Long forgotten
Past emotions
No longer being lingered on
HE was cool now
Part of the in-crowd
No longer needing the attention
Of the girl
With plain hair
And average clothes
Who’d hurt him
More that he’d thought possible
More than he’d ever admit to her
Or anyone else
So she stood off in the distance
Watching him from a far
His full lips
His long eyelashes
Long to talk to him
Hear his voice
But afraid
So afraid
And sad
Bitterly regretting her decision
Imagining what could’ve been
Would’ve been
If she hadn’t said
NO
Seeing the boy she’d failed to before
Feeling more
Miserable
Than she let anyone know
Torn between the desire to
Let HIM know
She’d changed her mind
And between not wanting to hurt himmore
Not wanting to be hurt, rejected herself
And what if HE didn’t feel anything
For HER anymore?
She had no way too tell
Still watching from afar,
Asking herself
Why it was only possible for her
To want what she couldn’t have?
How could she crave for HIM with a desire that left her dazed
And confused
Unhappy
Lost to dwell on her emotions
Emotions she could barely comprehend
Herself
I look back into the mirrorb
See the traitorous eyes
See the person who’s caused me so much pain
Caused YOU so much pain
See myself
And I hope that one day
One day
I’ll be able to forgive myself
And maybe
YOU’LL be able to forget
And forgive
ME
So we can talk
Like before
Be friends again
And maybe more
So long as one day
I have the strength
And courage
To tell you my side of the story
One day.
And if not
If I continue to wallow
In the shadows
At least YOU
Will be better off
Away from the monster.
Away from ME.
I’m so sorry.
Please forgive me.
Even if I never
Truly
will be able to make it up
To YOU,
Even if you’ve long since forgotten.
I’m so sorry.
I'm new here, my name's Fatlouie...and even though actually, I'm not the biggest fans of poems, I've been so frustrated lately, needing to vent, and I started writing this, hessitant at first and then it all sort of came out. So, I'm sorry if it's not a true poem, it doesn't fit a format and I'd be willing to bet it has heaps and heaps of grammar mistakes...I just needed to say this. It's been inside ME too long.
'I'm Sorry'
from Fatlouie
I look into the mirror
See those treacherous eyes
Staring back at me
Too innocent-looking
For what they’ve done
I look away
Not bearing the sight
But not able to forget, either
Never able to forget
You
You
Too nice and kind
For such a monster
Too interesting
For someone so boring
For ME
For someone too intent on the impossible
Too caught up in her own dreams
To notice what she had
To see what she could’ve had
If she’d let time get the better of
Her and him
You
Saw the girl
Behind the plain hair
And average clothes
Saw the soul behind
Noticed her in a way no one else had
And she saw you too
But not in the right way
She thought of him a friend
Nothing more
A way to prove she wasn’t
As shy as they all thought she was
So it didn’t matter if he wasn’t
Pretty
Or cool
Of course she didn’t miss the hints
Or ignore the whispering
The smirks, smiles and teasing
But talking with him
Was nice
And the way he looked at her
She felt wanted
Special
And, she had something to talk about
With her friends
So she let it pass
And maybe
Maybe she didn’t mind the whispering
Because they were whispering about HER for a change
And HIM too, of course
But one day he crossed the line
Or maybe one of his friends tricked him
Later she wasn’t sure who
He told her she was more than just his friend
And she
She freaked out
Too scared
And angry
What would her friends say about him?
Say about him and her
Together?
He didn’t fit in.
Didn’t fit into her want to-be perfect world.
So she told him
He was only her friend
Maybe not even that
That she couldn’t care less
Of course he said it was fine
Okay
No problem
But he never looked at her in THAT way again
Never spoke to her again unless necessary
Avoiding her
And time passed
as time does
She changed
But so did HE
Maybe he wasn’t so
Ugly
Or uncool
Anymore
And she wasn’t the only one
Who noticed
Suddenly other girls
Started to notice HIM
Notice the way his full lips were curved
His long eyelashes
His piano-player fingers
But he was forbidden
Of course
After all
She’d told him no
I don’t want to be with YOU
She’d rejected him
Told him to leave her alone
And become prettier
And cooler
And now he was
Prettier
And cooler
And she started seeing past the thin boy
With the messy hair
And weird accent
And weird habits
She started noticing HIM the right way
But she doubted herself
Not sure
Who was she seeing?
The kind, sympathetic guy she’d failed to notice before?
Or the pretty, cool guy he’d turned into?
But of course
HE no longer looked at her in THAT way
Didn’t look at her anymore
At all
Past times
Long forgotten
Past emotions
No longer being lingered on
HE was cool now
Part of the in-crowd
No longer needing the attention
Of the girl
With plain hair
And average clothes
Who’d hurt him
More that he’d thought possible
More than he’d ever admit to her
Or anyone else
So she stood off in the distance
Watching him from a far
His full lips
His long eyelashes
Long to talk to him
Hear his voice
But afraid
So afraid
And sad
Bitterly regretting her decision
Imagining what could’ve been
Would’ve been
If she hadn’t said
NO
Seeing the boy she’d failed to before
Feeling more
Miserable
Than she let anyone know
Torn between the desire to
Let HIM know
She’d changed her mind
And between not wanting to hurt himmore
Not wanting to be hurt, rejected herself
And what if HE didn’t feel anything
For HER anymore?
She had no way too tell
Still watching from afar,
Asking herself
Why it was only possible for her
To want what she couldn’t have?
How could she crave for HIM with a desire that left her dazed
And confused
Unhappy
Lost to dwell on her emotions
Emotions she could barely comprehend
Herself
I look back into the mirrorb
See the traitorous eyes
See the person who’s caused me so much pain
Caused YOU so much pain
See myself
And I hope that one day
One day
I’ll be able to forgive myself
And maybe
YOU’LL be able to forget
And forgive
ME
So we can talk
Like before
Be friends again
And maybe more
So long as one day
I have the strength
And courage
To tell you my side of the story
One day.
And if not
If I continue to wallow
In the shadows
At least YOU
Will be better off
Away from the monster.
Away from ME.
I’m so sorry.
Please forgive me.
Even if I never
Truly
will be able to make it up
To YOU,
Even if you’ve long since forgotten.
I’m so sorry.